Date: 2016-06-08 01:46 pm (UTC)
twelve_not_fourteen: (Thoughtfully - Episode 7)
His son is not so different than he is sometimes.

If he knew him better, he would notice it far more often than he does. It's true that they did not form the sort of attachment to each other that one would expect from a father and son. He always thought it would get better; blamed it on phases and assured himself that eventually when things settled they would have a chance to bond. The next thing he knew, he was an old man and Ben seemed virtually lost to him. It's something that he lies awake thinking about.

"Is that so?" He says. "The only person I've ever known to use The Force that way died burdened with a lot of regret."

So he's interpreted, at least. It's not as if he's ever heard Luke and Leia talk extensively about their Father's dying moments and he can't begin to imagine he ever knew what Darth Vader was thinking. He just knows a little bit about making a lot of the wrong choices and turning around to make the right one when people were counting on him ...

"I didn't do a good job of preparing you for anything, kid. Let's call that like it is." He took his hands off the yoke when it came to preparing his son for adulthood because he was convinced that everyone else would do a better job of steering. That's not to say he would have done better or worse, but things would have probably at least been different.

Han drops the blood and alcohol soaked gauze onto the metal floor of the cabin and grabs a fresh one along with a tube of Bata in ointment form. "This stuff smells terrible." He murmurs as he begins to smear it all over Ben's cuts.
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Han Solo

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