forcefullyunstable: (remorseful)
Kylo Ren ([personal profile] forcefullyunstable) wrote in [personal profile] twelve_not_fourteen 2016-07-10 12:52 am (UTC)

Ben listened. A far cry from the day before, he actually sat there, absorbed in every word his father had to say. His expressions proved he was telling the truth - he really didn't remember, but some of the stories helped him find a few of the pieces.

"...I didn't like all the people." He replied quietly. "The way they'd stare at me, like there was something wrong with me."

Whether that was something Snoke put into his head, he wasn't sure. He knew he was different. He knew he could feel different things than other people long before he was able to explain why.

"I could hear it in my head. That I was different. Powerful. Dangerous. And that I was the reason why you always fought and why you were sending me away. It hurt." By which he meant both his parents' reactions and his inability to stop the monster in his head from getting to him. "I think, maybe, that was Snoke, even then. It went away for a little bit after you sent me away to Luke. You must have been so proud... But then it came back, stronger than ever. And when I learned who my grandfather was... It just all made sense... And the Supreme Leader had answers..."

This was vulneability at its corr. Ben truly didn't know his own thoughts. He couldn't trust his own memories, much less the intentions of other people. And he still desperately wanted to believe in these supposed early days repairing ships where he actually held tools in his hands instead of with his mind.

It also suggested something far more frightening - if Snoke wanted to, he could reach Ben again. There wasn't any safe place he could truly hide.

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