twelve_not_fourteen: (Default)
Han Solo ([personal profile] twelve_not_fourteen) wrote2016-05-24 05:01 pm
Entry tags:

On the Light and the Dark ...

“Ben --”

In a such a large structure with conditioners for the volume of systems and subsystems that run the Starkiller Base, it seems like there should have been more ambient noise then there was. Instead, the voice of his father cuts through the air like freshly sharpened vibroblade. It’s in the echo, however, that you can really hear the desperation.

“Han Solo, I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” That voice, cold and mechanical with the face Han longed to see so badly hidden behind a helmet. The Millennium Falcon’s captain has to struggle to hold back the tears that seem to want to spill from his eyes.

How you could have been so close, as he stalked behind you and still you didn’t seem to feel him or acknowledge that he was there, the old pilot will always wonder. Han’s first footfall onto the durasteel catwalk not the usual confident step, but a shaky one. He has a bad feeling about what’s about to happen and yet, it’s a feeling he has to ignore for many reasons.

For, perhaps, the most important reasons that any man could ever hope to have.

Han sets his jaw and summons the same courage that allowed for him to skim a little too close to black holes and run hollering into crowded barracks full of Stormtroopers. It shouldn’t take that kind of bravery to face your own son, should it? He supposes not, and for a second or two while he approaches, he tries to pinpoint where it all went wrong. As if it was only one wrong choice that sent them through this hellish cascade and not a series of them made by multiple people.

“Take off that mask.” Han says, a bit of an edge in his voice again. “You don’t need it.”

“What do you think you’ll see if I do?” A pointed response, not quite as glib as the ones his father spouts off, but sort of philosophical. It reminds him of a Skywalker response.

“The face of my son.”

When Kylo Ren disengages the mechanisms that keep his helm in place, and he reveals himself, his father’s eyes seem to soften. The sad truth is that he can recognize you, but the light that he used to see in you - a brilliance that could have dwarfed any star that Han had ever seen, seems so far away.

“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father. So I destroyed him.”

“That’s what Snoke wants you to believe. When he gets what he wants, he’ll crush you.” Han pauses to look at his son, who seems to recoil at the words. “You know it’s true.”

“It’s too late.” Kylo protests, but he’s struggling with something and Han can see it in his eyes.

“No it’s not.” He says, doubling down on Leia’s insistence that their boy can still be saved, even though in the moment he’s not really sure. The Solo patriarch says it with all the hope in the galaxy though. “Leave here with me. Come home.”

Then, when it seemed like Han was so close to getting his son back, A blaster bolt flies past Han’s arm. It comes so close to hitting him that it singes the leather of his jacket and the smell of burning touches the air.

Han turns, snarling and withdraws his blaster. His hand speed still impressive for a non-force user and he fires three shots in the direction that the bolt seemed to come from. Then more blaster fire starts coming from all directions – from Chewie, Finn and Rey as well as the troopers of the first order who had filtered into the room.

At this point, the only sensible thing that Captain Solo can think to do is to sprint back toward his friends, snap off a few more shots and hope that his son had chosen to follow. He doesn’t hear the pounding of another set of feet behind him, though. The observation makes his heart sink.

Han turns to look back at his son, in the middle of the chaos, only to see the young man pulling the helmet on again.

What Han doesn’t see, in that moment, is the way a bolt threatening to hit him right in the back, changes mid trajectory and flies impotently into the emptiness below him. Did Ben Solo use the force to save his father? Did Kylo Ren only intervene because he still wanted to end his father’s life himself?

The Knight, clad all in black, ignites a scarlet saber that glows angrily amid the trickle of blaster fire in the air.

“Fall back.” He yells to Rey and Fin.

Chewie, doesn’t need orders from Han to know what he wants. The old partners know each other well enough that many things don’t need to be said. Get to the Falcon. Someone has to raise the ramp and ignite the engines.

Still, his Wookiee best friend will lay down some cover fire in the space between father and son, to give the senior member of this band of heroes some time to reconvene with Rey and Finn. Only then will Chewbacca hit the trigger for the detonators and sprint off to the ship. If Solo wants to be mad about that, his copilot thinks to himself, they can argue about it later.

Soon Finn, Rey and Han are scrambling though the snow and trying to lose their pursuers in the dark forest. Considering that he’s more than twice their age, Han thinks he’s doing a serviceable job of keeping up, but a look he’s catching in the female of their party’s eyes tells him someone is nearby. 
forcefullyunstable: (conflicted)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-01 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
Given the unusual, if not shoddy, design of that lightsaber, perhaps some lessons in mechanics and engineering could have helped. A damaged casing and exposed wires, cross-guard vents to keep the entire thing from overloading. The blade was just like its maker, unstable and too powerful for its own good.

"I'd suggest you use the cross-guard." He huffed, as though he'd actually done this before. It was a valiant bluff if indeed it was one. If not, well, perhaps some things were better left unsaid.

Kylo braced himself against the bunk with one hand and gripped the large piece of shrapnel with the other. He took a deep breath and started to pull it out.

Only as an afterthought did he wish he'd shoved something in his mouth to muffle the inevitable scream that was sure to come.
forcefullyunstable: (falling)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-01 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
It was because it was something as important as his lightsaber that he did the best that he could. Given the cracked crystal he was intent on using, it was a wonder he was able to cobble something together that functioned instead of exploded. But yes, mechanical genius definitelu wasn't an inherited trait.

Force sensitivity on the other hand...

He tried to muffle the screams when hot plasma hit his side, but he couldn't. It was excruciating, and he couldn't hide that. The wail echoed throughout the ship.

He was, however, able to remain standing. He simply took the pain, harnessed it and redirected it. Anything in the room that wasn't nailed down shook, and a couple of screws popped out of the wall - a reminder of how much power Kylo Ren possessed.

When the wound was closed and Han was finally able to turn off the lightsaber, they would both find themselves staring down a very concerned Finn's blaster and a Wookie with a bowcaster. Neither of them knew what was going on, but both feared the worst.
forcefullyunstable: (notagoodperson)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-01 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Chewie could, and the grunt roughly translated to, "just in case..." The nod of his head meant that the 'just in case' applied to Han, his wayward son or the former stormtrooper.

The energy spent, Kylo's limbs were shaking. He held himself up on the bunk as he worked to steady his breath. As soon as he was able, and not a moment later, he straightened up.

"This... does not concern you, traitor! Get out!" He growled, and then force-pushed both of them back out of the door.
Edited 2016-06-01 23:33 (UTC)
forcefullyunstable: (headadarkplace)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-04 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
The sound of footsteps and a Wookie growl slowly faded from the background. Those who understood Shriwook knew he was arguing with Finn, telling him it was all going to be all right. That might have been a bit of an overstatement, but at least it was true for the time being.

"I'm fine!" He insisted with a grunt.

His body was still shaking a little, but it was obvious he was doing his absolute best to hide any kind of weakness. Again, it was worrying how much of this was pride and how much might be experience.

"I am more than strong enough... This... this is nothing."
forcefullyunstable: (conflicted)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-06 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Kylo Ren took the brandy, and just stared at the bottle for a moment. His expression was a bit lost, as though he were chasing down a memory that was just outside his reach.

There were things he wanted to say, but he just... couldn't yet.

He opened the bottle and sniffed it. He almost chanced a taste, but then saw his father walking back with a couple of pills in his hand. He looked at the pills, at Han, and then back again. Hesitantly, Kylo reached out to take them, but suddenly decided against it by knocking Han's hand away.

He couldn't afford to let his mind be purposefully clouded, just in case. It was too much trust that he wasn't willing to give. But he did take a swig of the brandy before holding the bottle out for Han. It burned on the way down, a subtle distraction from the burn of disinfectant on open wounds.

"...Here I thought you reveled in all kinds of aftermath."
forcefullyunstable: (fight)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-07 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Kylo hissed when the gauze hit the open cuts, but he let Han work without lashing out. At least, not physically.

"Pain is just... a conduit of the Force. Fear. Hate. Suffering..." He scoffed. "You did a fine job preparing me for my destiny."

It was difficult to tell if that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult. Perhaps it was just a way for two relative strangers to make conversation without discussing the real matter at hand - such as where this ship was going and what plans Kylo Ren had for his hostages.
forcefullyunstable: (conflicted)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-08 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Kylo clenched his fists, breathing through the pain.

"Darth Vader was ruined by sentimentality. Skywalker destroyed a great man with his mind tricks. I will... I will not be seduced by the light..."

It sounded too close to an empty promise for his own comfort. He was here, on board his father's ship, wasn't he? With the old man and the Resistance supporters still alive? Unforgivable. The Supreme Leader was more of a father figure than Han Solo ever was. And like a child, Kylo Ren could expect to be punished for his weakness.

"Take your hands off of me! That's enough!!" He stumbled back, actively scraping bacta from his skin. "Don't... Don't make me do something I... you'd regret!"

Even his threat seemed hollow.

It was pretty plain to see, Han Solo - your son was being torn apart.
forcefullyunstable: (headadarkplace)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-09 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
"What I want is far less important than what I have. And what I have is power!"

That, in and of itself, was his lot in life. The Supreme Leader coveted the energy that flowed through his veins. He was a means to an end. But the doctrine of stability and progress that the First Order preached actually meant something to Ben. It still meant something to Kylo. It was a place to belong.

"My loyalty is to the First Order. To the Supreme Leader... I... I won't go back to..." He began to argue, but his voice trailed off when Han said something he truly didn't expect.

Light side or dark side. Skywalker or Snoke. There were only two options! To live one was to be seduced by the other!

"...wh..what?"
forcefullyunstable: (headadarkplace)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-09 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Kylo Ren would never admit it, but there were times when, deep in solitary meditation when his mind (as far as he could tell) was entirely his own, he dreamed about what life might have been like if he were born without the Force. If he could have been part of the agricorps, a merchant, a trader. After encountering Rey, he even wondered what it might have been like to be a scavenger.

But those simply weren't options.

Snoke was courting his mind since he was old enough to cry about the monsters under his bed. They were never the bed, though. They were inside his head. Traveling with Luke would make it all go away, they told him. They never wanted you anyway, Snoke replied. In a way, slaughtering the other Jedi was comforting. They had a way out that he never did. They didn't have to live with being torn apart.

"The Supreme Leader says that killing you will stop the pain I feel..." He admitted softly. The fact that he was saying it instead of doing it meant he had his doubts.

Had Han tried to take him prisoner, to make him return to the Resistance or to Luke Skywalker, it would have been so easy to focus on his rage and strike the man down. But instead, he just... he treated him like a person instead of a tool to be wielded, clay to be sculpted or a prize to be won.
forcefullyunstable: (conflicted)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-09 10:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Kylo was stunned enough to reveal his mission to the enemy. And at the moment, he didn't actually want to carry it out. Should the Supreme Leader learn of this, he'd be reprimanded severely. In the eyes of the First Order, he was dancing the fine line between treason and making a pathetic excuse of espionage.

Could he really do it? Have a life where he served no master? Could he run from the First Order, the Resistance and what was left of the Republic? Was there anywhere he could possibly go?

"And if I wanted to take this ship... and never come back? To... to anyone?" He dared ask aloud.
forcefullyunstable: (headadarkplace)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-11 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
Kylo Ren considered those words for an uncomfortable amount of time. Han could clearly see the wheels turning in his son's mind, but not the direction they'd roll.

"The others will leave peacefully, sworn to silence. or die by my hand. You... You will stay."

He wasn't taking the ship away from Han. Nor was he going to kill him. It was almost as if he was... No, he really was... Kylo Ren was defecting from the First Order. Han succeeded in exactly what Leia had asked him to do.

Then, Kylo added a final condition.

"...if you contact General Organa, tell her that I died in the explosion."
forcefullyunstable: (remorseful)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-11 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course, Leia would have felt the death of her son, even that many star systems away. So lying would be difficult, if not impossible. At best, he might be presumed dead or otherwise still missing, but Kylo clearly wanted something far more finite.

At least he wasn't asking for the real thing.

When Han spoke about the Wookie, Kylo Ren lowered his gaze to the floor. He despised the General and all that she stood for. His father was a disappointment that he needed to eliminate. But his memories of Chewie weren't nearly as tainted. Perhaps the Supreme Leader left those untouched as a point of comparison to all the actual people in his life.

"...I think Chewie held me more than you ever did."

He didn't outright say he could stay, but the sentiment was somehow there.
forcefullyunstable: (remorseful)

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2016-06-11 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
He looked at Han, and then back down at the gauze. He clenched his fists and then let his hands fall at his side. It had been so long since he'd been asked to decide his own fate (if ever), he didn't know what to do. His expression said that loud and clear.

Eventually, Kylo nodded, raising his arms again so Han could bandage his wounds.

"...will you show me what it's like..." He asked hesitantly. "to be your own master?"

To smuggle contraband, to swindle and profit, to escape by the skin of your teeth. To fly fast, live large and be good enough to not die young. It seemed a fitting place to start - a son wanting to be like his father, but not knowing how to ask.

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