The odds of hitting your target go up when you aim at it.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

No matter how good you are at something, if you challenge yourself against enough people, you'll find someone who can best you. Even if you have all the talent in the galaxy, nobody is going to be successful one-hundred percent of the time. It's an unfortunate aspect of life that we fail.

You can label those thoughts as pessimism or realism if you like, but it doesn't change it's truth. And the good thing is that, in recognizing you can't be the best at everything all the time, you can come to realize that the whole rest of the human race is on that ship with you. What ends up making the difference is striving to be better and being well rounded in what you can do. There's no shortage of aspiration in Han. He's not the 'resting on his laurels' type.

Which brings us to the explanation of why he's been spending the last few nights in Nexus bars learning to play darts of all things. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy mentions being interested in bar games. Girl says darts seem like fun. Boy spends all his spare time over the next few days learning how to play darts, naturally.

It could have been fun to learn how to play together and, no doubt, that's the route a lot of people would take. Not Han, though. It's so deeply ingrained into him that he needs to prove his worth, that he couldn't very well go into this occasion without some practice. Even though it's just for fun. Just an excuse to get closer to somebody. He has to be the best that he can be in the few short days he has to learn the skill. Besides, he rationalizes to himself, it will be good if someone knows the rules to the games before they try to play.

Thock. Thock. Thock.

The sound of the metal tipped darts pelting the sisal fibre board is the same every time. In some ways, the game likens itself to other kinds of marksmanship. A lot of the work is done in adopting a good stance each time and being consistent.

The hours melt away faster that he realizes.

Unlike playing cards, which requires observation and thinking to play well, he can mostly zone out here. For him, it's kind of relaxing. He's not a champion dart player after two days and he's pretty sure Barton would handily outclass him in a game, but he's gotten pretty good. He tends to hit in the wedge that he's aiming for more often than he misses.

Although they never specifically agreed upon a time or even a specific place to reunite, he trusts the May Queen to find him. The morning was clear and no doubt a goddess has a lot to accomplish in a day, so he waits until the sky begins to turn dark before he heads to an establishment called 'The Pitch and Roll'.

It starts to rain just before he gets there, but it's one of those warm refreshing ones that you tend not to mind getting caught in too much. For now. It looks to him like it's going to really start pouring soon. A good evening to spend inside somewhere. He's glad he brought a good jacket; it's light brown in color and leather. If it's still raining when it's time to walk to the Falcon, he'll be glad to have it. The rest of what he's put on in terms of his clothing is the standard for him - black pants with a yellow decoration along the side seam and a white long sleave shirt.

He doesn't see Frea when he arrives and so, he'll walk up to the bar and order an ale for himself while he waits.

Comments

[maydayqueen]

A little of both, and mostly... "It's hard to imagine you taking orders well."

But the giggle is not, is never, at his expense. She hopes he'll come to understand, to truly believe, that anything she takes is given back and then some. When he makes her laugh, she wants to make him laugh too. Every kiss is returned with interest. Anything he gives her, she wants to share.

It's good to be able to talk about the people loved and missed without revisiting the grief. Remembering shouldn't lead to reliving. She doesn't know, but she'd be pleased to help if she did.

"Yeah, but it has its charms. It's very soft." And mattresses are a little bouncier than the ground. It's something she might experiment with later.

"Hmm?" Total stalling tactic, that sound. "As old as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth. Why?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

She raises a good point about authority and the seeming problems he has in conforming to it. And ultimately it was disobedience that got him thrown out of the Imperial Navy, but out of his defiance, he got the best friend anyone could ever have asked for. It was a great trade.

"I didn't." Solo confirms, leaning in to press a kiss on her cheek. "Probably has a lot to do with why it didn't last."

When it comes to being out in nature versus being indoors for matters of intimacy, his preference is still inside. Although, he must admit that Frea aways seems to find places that are far more comfortable than he'd expect them to be.

His question. Han thinks he could frame it in such a way that she'd feel guilty if she didn't answer and Han does want to know badly enough that he'd considered a couple of ways to ask about the information. However, now that they're talking about it and he can see she doesn't want to just tell him the way she often does with his other questions, it makes him want to back down.

He knows how he feels about certain things she might want to ask that he wouldn't want to talk about.

"I guess I just want to know you better." He says with a shrug. "The same reason you might find the fact that I don't cut my hair short interesting. We don't have to talk about it, though."

[maydayqueen]

That does sound like an excellent trade, and an excellent story. Maybe he'll tell her about it someday. Right now, she's humming happily at the kiss and turning her head to give him one back on his forehead. "Can't say I'm sorry you're not a soldier anymore. I prefer you the way you are. Scruffy hair and independence and all."

He could guilt her into telling him things, yeah. And then she'd not want to see him as much. Not a good trade, she doesn't think--and hopes he would agree. But as it is, this isn't a refusal to answer so much as an inability. His answer to the rebuttal makes her hesitate and think.

After three breaths, she quietly admits, "I don't know."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

He's gotta be judicious with the feel good stories. Han only has so many of them.

"More of a pilot than a soldier." He says without thinking. Then when he does start thinking about it, he has to wonder if the distinction matters all that much to her. "I flew in a one person starship, usually against other people in one man starships."

They killed each other just as dead as the troopers, though, in the end and the idea of him doing anything that makes her not want to be around him as much would be something he would consider an awful trade. He hopes he never ends up in that kind of exchange with her.

"It's not that important." He soothes. Not so much that it's worth stressing her out. Absolutely not worth rubbing her the wrong way over it. Han rubs the back of his hand (it's less rough than the palm) along the line of her jaw gently. "I'm about to be twenty-eight, I think."

[maydayqueen]

They can make more together.

"Oh." He's right that she doesn't immediately see a difference, but he does, so she's going to try to find it. "That must take a lot of extra training and skill?"

Is that it? She hopes that's it. If he flies as well as he plays darts, he must be the best pilot in the galaxy. That's her take on the sitch, anyway. Still, she's glad he's out. She thinks he must be safer that way.

"Mm." His hand is thanked for the lovely touch with nuzzling. She'll nuzzle and nose his hand until she can kiss the back of it. "So young. I would have thought you'd need to be older to be a captain."

Her lips move next to kiss his palm. He might worry it's too rough for her, but she has no such concerns. "I don't think I can answer any better either way, but did you mean how many springs have their been, or how old I was before I became this?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Do TIE\LN pilots have better training and more skill than stormtroopers? For the most part, yes. But it's not as if he wants to turn an otherwise nice conversation that they could have into one of what the military is like where he comes from.

"Well, yeah, that." He says with his lips twisting into a cocky smile. "I also don't want Brienne to think I'll be any kind of challenge for her in hand to hand combat. That's not the kind of military training I got."

He feels older than the years he's lived and she appears young to him. If he had to guess her age on her physical looks, he'd say about a decade younger than him. "You can vault yourself right up through the ranks where I come from when you own your own ship. That's not to say a captain and the person who own a ship are always the same, but a lot of times they are."

When it comes to her age, Han would be content not to talk about it anymore. The truth was, he was trying to see if telling him about her age would parlay into a conversation about a life before the one she lives now. One only hinted at before.

"If I had what you said before right ... and I only get so much of this magic stuff so maybe I'm not, I thought you said it was your first spring as the Queen."

[maydayqueen]

"You two aren't planning to fight over me, I hope." She's teasing, either because she's unaware of how probable that is or because she truly believes better of them both. Possibly both. "I'd make a horrible prize, you know."

Spring is a youthful time of year. It would make sense for its avatar to appear to be young, wouldn't it? She certainly acts the age. That might be part of why his maturity is so intriguing to her. Opposites attract.

"It is. I was human before, but I don't remember much about my life then. I was old enough, if that's what you're worried about." There's some wistfulness in her tone, but not really sorrow. Whatever she's given up, she doesn't remember enough about it to miss it.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Han takes the hand that has been caressing the May Queen gently and turns it over. She'll be treated to similar light touches only now, it's coming from the abrasive side of his hand. The callouses make it somewhat impossible for the touch to read as 'gentle', but it's obvious he's not trying to be rough.

"I can't tell if you're the kind of woman who'd appreciate a display of dominance or not." You have to admit it is natural for alphas to behave as such and hell, sometimes those wild displays are impressive. "But, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to see it from two of the people you care about."

From the moment he first realized he liked Frea as much as he did, he realized it was because she was so different than him. It would make sense that he would find her rare and special considering the kind of people he does tend to hang around with. And Solo finds himself liking pretty much all of her traits as far as he can tell, but if he had to narrow it down to one thing, it would be her optimism. He finds it oddly reassuring coming from Frea where the same sentiments coming from someone else might make him roll his eyes or sneer.

He's not all that sure why that is. Han only knows that he's happy that it turned out that way.

"Maybe it's better that you don't remember all that much." He says after a moment of thought. "I feel like if it was me, I wouldn't want to."

[maydayqueen]

Calluses aren't going to abrade her away. She's made of stronger stuff than that. The rougher skin adds a new texture to the pleasure, and she enjoys it as much as before. There's no signs of her disliking it, at any rate.

"It depends on the display," she admits. His showing off at darts appealed. The idea of him and Brienne fighting, though... there's no mistaking that face she makes. No. She would not like that at all. "You two are really different people, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be friends if you wanted."

Subtle, isn't she? But she's not going to push. His forehead gets another kiss before she shifts slightly beneath him, resettling and adjusting how the blanket's tucked around her. Just the getting-comfy kinds of things people do when they're at ease in a situation.

"Yeah, you're probably right." It's easy to agree since she feels the same way. "And lots of people wish for brand new starts in life, right? I sure got that. And I found you so I must be doing a pretty good job with it."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Han doesn't mind Brienne. He respects her strength, and to some degree, even the moral codes she seems to have that he can't ever imagine himself abiding by. If anything he got a little anxious when he thought she might be a potential rival for Frea's affections. For all he knows, she could still be, but he feels a little more secure now than he did then.

"Everything okay over there?" He has a bit of a lazy smile on his lips at the question. Not that the shuffling particularly strikes him as odd, but sometimes it's good to check in. And he's kind of the host here, isn't he? "If you're thirsty I can get up."

He might be wondering more about her life than she is right now. Not having any detail means she could have had a beautiful and amazing life before this one that she was cheated out of or perhaps she came from some kind of background that was unkind and lonely. Unless the memories come back with time, there was no way to know.

"I think there was a time where, if someone gave me a chance to have another life, I would have taken it." He purses his lips for a moment before adding. "It was nice that I met you when I did. I guess like everyone else, I was ready for spring and then ... there you were. But you're more than just spring to me. You know that, right?"

[maydayqueen]

There's no rival for the feelings she has for Han. But she feels different things for different people, and that might be where the trouble starts. She has a great deal of affection to give people, but it might not be exclusive. That isn't something she's really thought about yet. Her 'go with the flow' attitude about life might not be in anyone's best interests here.

"Mm-hmm." She gives him a reassuring smile. "A little thirsty, but too comfy to want to let you up yet." He is absolutely the host. This is his home, after all. She'll try to be a low-maintenance guest.

Time will tell, literally. Whatever and wherever she came from, she chose this new life. For her, for now, that's (mostly) enough.

She'd been preparing to tease him gently about wanting a different life, and maybe to ask what kind he would have wanted. Like she's some kind of genie who can grant wishes. (Well, he does certainly rub her in all the right ways...) But then that assertion, and she can't turn her head fast enough to hide her startled expression. No, she didn't know that. She could try to pass it off, pointing out that she gets the whole summer too, but they both know that's not what he meant.

When she does finally look down, it's with cheeks flushed with confusion and pleasure. "I um. Thank you."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

That day is likely to be a rough day for the Corellian. Likely to catch him off guard upon the discovery, but when he really stops to think about it, probably not all that surprising. Just one more way they oppose each other. He should want for him not to be a limitation on her when all is said and done.

In turn, he's a little surprised with the way that she reacts to the words, but Han of all people is familiar with the way that certain sentiments are powerful. He knows that there are things that people can say to him that bring out a very similar reaction. Touched a nerve. Rather than watch the wave of emotion she might be feeling, he casts his eyes away for a few seconds; letting his presence be felt not from the weight of a stare, but with with a thumb dragging very lightly over her cheek.

"Sure." He murmurs. "Just figured you should know."

[maydayqueen]

It's not likely to be easy for anyone. She'll have to hope he can see that her freedom means she always comes to him freely, and that can be a beautiful thing. Freely given joy is, in the end, the only lasting gift she has to give.

It's a nerve she didn't know she had. (Anyone getting the impression she doesn't spend a lot of time in self-contemplation would be correct.) It's a little odd, to have him point that out, like it's easy and obvious. Like she should know these things because they're part of the natural order. There's a flicker of a frown when he looks away because it makes her think she's done something wrong. The touch is reassuring on a number of levels and she leans into it.

"That was kind." When her blush starts to fade she reaches over to turn his face toward her again so she can kiss him. It's a soft kiss but a rich one, full of the things she's discovering she feels for him beyond passion. "Thank you."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Such a relationship can only work if both parties are on board, of course, because otherwise one person is sacrificing their own comfort for the sake of the other - and if that happens, neither will end up happy. It is natural for things to change, though. To evolve. To grow. It that's the impasse they seem fated to hit, there's always the chance they can just ... be friends.

But that will be a concern for then.

For now, he's happy. It's hard not to be when he feels able to say something heartfelt to someone and have it be moving. And kissed like he's being kissed right now, besides.

"You'd have said as much to me if things were the other way around."

[maydayqueen]

If either of them ends up compromising so much they're sacrificing, they're both doing something wrong. It seems unlikely they could go back to 'just friends' at this point, but stranger things have happened. Especially around here.

When the kiss ends, she leans her forehead against his. "Well, yeah. You're amazing." It's all so obvious when she puts it like that. "But I'm glad it's not you. I'm glad you get to live your life and that I get to be part of it. Even if I don't understand all of it yet."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

When she leans in so close to him there's nowhere for him to run. Nowhere for him to hide. And he's wondering if maybe she can see into his soul. It's a way more vulnerable a position than he's used to being in, but like so many things, it doesn't seem so bad when she's there. Or the cause.

"Mmmm. You're glad about a lot of things, though." He points out. Trying to do a convincing job of teasing is really hard to do when you just want to smile. "I don't even know what to make of you, sometimes. It's almost too much glad."

Han's hand settles on her back where he can rub over it gently. His life as a subject does tend to make him a little uneasy. There's so much he wants to keep in. So much that he'd rather not think about, but he ... doesn't want her to be left wondering either.

"What would you like to know?"

[maydayqueen]

But think about it, Han: the positioning makes her just as vulnerable. It's not about cornering him, it's about wanting them to be open and intimate with each other in more than the wonderfully physical ways they have been.

"Yeah," she agrees without remorse. "But I'd rather have a life of joy than a life of sorrow, so I go looking for the happy things."

The rubbing makes her sigh, a soft sound of contentment and--yes--joy. Why fuss about his rough hands when she can enjoy the touch so much instead? This is her life: one spent in the silver linings.

"Hmm. Well... why is money so important?" Her question comes with no tones of reproach, and the dislike is being tamped down as best she can; mostly, it's honest and simple curiosity. "I mean, I know it's a useful standardization of bartering, but... why do people want so much? There's plenty of everything to go around."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

To be fair, just being in the proxy of all her silver linings makes him feel a lot better.

"It's a hard thing to explain, darlin'." He says after a moment of thought. The look in his hazel eyes suggest that he's thinking over the question carefully, but that doesn't mean the answer is going to come easily.

"When you're broke, you're trapped. Stuck under the thumb of the people who have all the wealth, but refuse to share it. Your problems compound when you're poor, too. Makes you stressed, which then makes you sick."

"And all the while the people who have it dangle the money in front of you. And you know that ... if you could just get a little bit more that you could start living a life you wanted to, instead of doing whatever you have to do to maintain your limited status."

[maydayqueen]

Just wait until she's got him seeing his own silver linings. He'll be rich!

She's listening as carefully as he's thinking. It's an important topic, in general and to him especially. She wants to get this right and she knows he won't like if she has to ask a second time. Her expression grows more sympathetic as he explains and she doesn't resist the urge to hug him a little closer. Like she can hug all the sorrow and worry away.

"I'm sorry. People shouldn't do that." And it kind of pisses her off. "But why not go out where they aren't and get what you need?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

For a guy that is so money driven, he sure doesn't seem to be having fun talking about it. It's never been about the money itself for Han, he's just ... doesn't want to be controlled and that's what money does. The hug might not soothe way the concern or pay off his debts, but it's nice all the same.

"What do you mean by that?" With their faces that close to each other, it's not all that hard to lean in for another kiss and he certainly wants one.

[maydayqueen]

It's often less fun to talk about the things one doesn't have. This isn't really meant to be a fun talk, but it's important... which almost makes it worth making him uncomfortable, to her.

The kiss is easy to find and she's eager to give it. "I mean, well. There are wild places, yeah? Why not run away to one and live off the land and be free?"

You know... like her.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

"I don't know if it's that easy, honey." He murmurs. It's not as if he would have to explain to her there's a bit of a process and start-up cost in starting to grow one's own food. That's a consideration. "A lot of the places that are that remote are ... harsh. Not full of things that are alive, you know? There's tons of planets where I come from where 75 percent or more of their food is imported from other worlds."

Not to mention, the skills required to work the land (if he could find some) aren't beyond his ability to learn, but it's not as if he acquired them in his life as a pilot. Same for hunting.

"If I was gonna run away, it would probably be here, I guess." Though, clearly, there's something that keeps him doing exactly that.

[maydayqueen]

That is a lot of information and most of it is alarming for her. Whole planets that can't support their population anymore? That is a terrible thing and very upsetting. Then there's the idea that people can't just go and get what they need and be happy.

Naivety is forgivable in the young, right?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." She's going to nuzzle his hair while she tries to process this, if he doesn't mind. "Why not run away to here?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

That's one way to look at it, sure. Another way is to think of it is, they've gone created 'successful' colonies on planets that weren't meant to support certain kinds of life. Or perhaps another way to view it is each planet has a role in the galactic economy and they all provide different things.

It's a tough thing to explain for someone always accepted galaxy wide macroeconomics as 'normal' and he's probably not doing the best job of fleshing it out for her. It's not a particularly strong subject for him to speak on.

But the nuzzles to his hair are always welcome. She'll find it's among the most comforting gestures she can extend to him. Even seeing him leaning into touches to keep contact there.

"I don't hold it against you for not know how things work in a place you've never been, sweetheart." He says softly. "I did live with someone on a planet once, for a couple of months. It's alright for a while, but I start get restless when I don't get out into space. I don't like feeling stuck. Also there's my best friend. I ... miss him."

[maydayqueen]

Those are legitimate viewpoints, but she'll never agree with them. She has her biases, like anyone does. Anything that requires an understanding of macroeconomics to appreciate is pretty safely crossed off the list of things Frea might enjoy.

Nuzzling his hair, on the other hand, is firmly on the list of things she absolutely enjoys and intends to do again. Seeing how much he likes it helps solidify that decision and she nuzzles more now that she knows he likes it too. (Not that there was a lot of doubt.)

"And you need money to get home," she concludes after a quiet moment of thinking. It's perhaps not a bad thing if he's as in need of leaving sometimes as she is. They'd just need to coordinate a little... "Okay. We'll get you home," she promises after a briefer pause. This is now officially a team effort.