Rey keeps trying to remind herself of that fact, but the thought of ever stepping foot back on Jakku is making her ... what? Miserable? Fearful? Worried? All of that and so much more?
It's just a job. It's not like she's going to find herself stuck there all over again, trapped and waiting for some sort of rescue. She's a member of the crew, a valuable one, and she means something to Han, and he's never - he wouldn't ...
Realistically, Rey knows that. It's trusting in that knowledge that's proving to be a difficulty ... to say the absolute least. She's never been known to be very shy and demure, but neither has she been known to simply accept something if she was uncomfortable with the idea of it.
And the thought of going back to Jakku feels so wrong, right down into her bones. She didn't fight, but it was clear to Han and Chewie both just how distressed she was by the idea. Still, she insisted that she was fine, and although she was looked at with concern every time she jumped when she was surprised, nobody really asks. And she kicks herself for pulling that far into herself, for not admitting her fear, for ... trying to pretend that she was fine when she was clearly anything but.
It's a job. A job is a job, and they kinda need the credits in order to make it to the next job. And she can't ask to forego it simply because she's ... scared (terrified).
The worst part is when she wakes up out of a fitful sleep to find that Han isn't with her. She knows where to find him, though, and although she slides in next to him without a word, and leans against him just as quietly, and even lies in his lap in the silence, she takes a great sense of comfort in his presence.
The nightmares, though, don't cease. Suddenly, she's awake, panic-stricken, and the glass in his hand has inexplicably shattered, showering them both in sharp, glittering shards.
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Date: 2016-09-04 05:07 am (UTC)Rey keeps trying to remind herself of that fact, but the thought of ever stepping foot back on Jakku is making her ... what? Miserable? Fearful? Worried? All of that and so much more?
It's just a job. It's not like she's going to find herself stuck there all over again, trapped and waiting for some sort of rescue. She's a member of the crew, a valuable one, and she means something to Han, and he's never - he wouldn't ...
Realistically, Rey knows that. It's trusting in that knowledge that's proving to be a difficulty ... to say the absolute least. She's never been known to be very shy and demure, but neither has she been known to simply accept something if she was uncomfortable with the idea of it.
And the thought of going back to Jakku feels so wrong, right down into her bones. She didn't fight, but it was clear to Han and Chewie both just how distressed she was by the idea. Still, she insisted that she was fine, and although she was looked at with concern every time she jumped when she was surprised, nobody really asks. And she kicks herself for pulling that far into herself, for not admitting her fear, for ... trying to pretend that she was fine when she was clearly anything but.
It's a job. A job is a job, and they kinda need the credits in order to make it to the next job. And she can't ask to forego it simply because she's ... scared
(terrified).The worst part is when she wakes up out of a fitful sleep to find that Han isn't with her. She knows where to find him, though, and although she slides in next to him without a word, and leans against him just as quietly, and even lies in his lap in the silence, she takes a great sense of comfort in his presence.
The nightmares, though, don't cease. Suddenly, she's awake, panic-stricken, and the glass in his hand has inexplicably shattered, showering them both in sharp, glittering shards.