On the Light and the Dark ...

[twelve_not_fourteen]

“Ben --”

In a such a large structure with conditioners for the volume of systems and subsystems that run the Starkiller Base, it seems like there should have been more ambient noise then there was. Instead, the voice of his father cuts through the air like freshly sharpened vibroblade. It’s in the echo, however, that you can really hear the desperation.

“Han Solo, I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” That voice, cold and mechanical with the face Han longed to see so badly hidden behind a helmet. The Millennium Falcon’s captain has to struggle to hold back the tears that seem to want to spill from his eyes.

How you could have been so close, as he stalked behind you and still you didn’t seem to feel him or acknowledge that he was there, the old pilot will always wonder. Han’s first footfall onto the durasteel catwalk not the usual confident step, but a shaky one. He has a bad feeling about what’s about to happen and yet, it’s a feeling he has to ignore for many reasons.

For, perhaps, the most important reasons that any man could ever hope to have.

Han sets his jaw and summons the same courage that allowed for him to skim a little too close to black holes and run hollering into crowded barracks full of Stormtroopers. It shouldn’t take that kind of bravery to face your own son, should it? He supposes not, and for a second or two while he approaches, he tries to pinpoint where it all went wrong. As if it was only one wrong choice that sent them through this hellish cascade and not a series of them made by multiple people.

“Take off that mask.” Han says, a bit of an edge in his voice again. “You don’t need it.”

“What do you think you’ll see if I do?” A pointed response, not quite as glib as the ones his father spouts off, but sort of philosophical. It reminds him of a Skywalker response.

“The face of my son.”

When Kylo Ren disengages the mechanisms that keep his helm in place, and he reveals himself, his father’s eyes seem to soften. The sad truth is that he can recognize you, but the light that he used to see in you - a brilliance that could have dwarfed any star that Han had ever seen, seems so far away.

“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father. So I destroyed him.”

“That’s what Snoke wants you to believe. When he gets what he wants, he’ll crush you.” Han pauses to look at his son, who seems to recoil at the words. “You know it’s true.”

“It’s too late.” Kylo protests, but he’s struggling with something and Han can see it in his eyes.

“No it’s not.” He says, doubling down on Leia’s insistence that their boy can still be saved, even though in the moment he’s not really sure. The Solo patriarch says it with all the hope in the galaxy though. “Leave here with me. Come home.”

Then, when it seemed like Han was so close to getting his son back, A blaster bolt flies past Han’s arm. It comes so close to hitting him that it singes the leather of his jacket and the smell of burning touches the air.

Han turns, snarling and withdraws his blaster. His hand speed still impressive for a non-force user and he fires three shots in the direction that the bolt seemed to come from. Then more blaster fire starts coming from all directions – from Chewie, Finn and Rey as well as the troopers of the first order who had filtered into the room.

At this point, the only sensible thing that Captain Solo can think to do is to sprint back toward his friends, snap off a few more shots and hope that his son had chosen to follow. He doesn’t hear the pounding of another set of feet behind him, though. The observation makes his heart sink.

Han turns to look back at his son, in the middle of the chaos, only to see the young man pulling the helmet on again.

What Han doesn’t see, in that moment, is the way a bolt threatening to hit him right in the back, changes mid trajectory and flies impotently into the emptiness below him. Did Ben Solo use the force to save his father? Did Kylo Ren only intervene because he still wanted to end his father’s life himself?

The Knight, clad all in black, ignites a scarlet saber that glows angrily amid the trickle of blaster fire in the air.

“Fall back.” He yells to Rey and Fin.

Chewie, doesn’t need orders from Han to know what he wants. The old partners know each other well enough that many things don’t need to be said. Get to the Falcon. Someone has to raise the ramp and ignite the engines.

Still, his Wookiee best friend will lay down some cover fire in the space between father and son, to give the senior member of this band of heroes some time to reconvene with Rey and Finn. Only then will Chewbacca hit the trigger for the detonators and sprint off to the ship. If Solo wants to be mad about that, his copilot thinks to himself, they can argue about it later.

Soon Finn, Rey and Han are scrambling though the snow and trying to lose their pursuers in the dark forest. Considering that he’s more than twice their age, Han thinks he’s doing a serviceable job of keeping up, but a look he’s catching in the female of their party’s eyes tells him someone is nearby. 

Comments

[twelve_not_fourteen]

It probably was a good thing that Chewie had the lightsaber. The kid is dangerous with it. Which is both a good and a bad thing. That he was unpredictable with it was the deeper problem.

Besides, walking around with a lightsaber on your belt was going to draw far more attention than Han wanted to deal with right now. He ought to be carrying a blaster if Ben doesn't want to stand out.

"You and Chewie are going to have a drink. I want to make a call."

[forcefullyunstable]

"All right." Surprisingly, there was little argument from Ben.

When they landed in the spaceport, he followed behind his father, trying pretty hard to look like he knew what he was doing or that he belonged. He tried not to look around so much, instead using the Force to take in his surroundings.

The moon was dirty, the air thick. Neon lights clashed with the darkness. There was something about the energy of the place that made his skin crawl, but not necessarily in a bad way.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Well, he has to be honest, he's a little bit surprised that his son hasn't taken more of an interest on whom he wanted to call. Granted, it's easier for him to not have to explain in great detail everything he wants to do and why, but it's a bit of a departure from the way that his son seemed to want to make all the decisions when he first got onboard the Falcon.

What he wants is advice. Nobody could pull a fast one on people like Xaverri could and likely, she'd kept up better on what type of tech was available to conceal oneself from authority better than he did.

Regardless, Nar Shaddaa is the kind of planet that's easier to disappear on than others. There were so many structures built on top of older structures that the whole damn moon was like a labyrinth. For the force sensitives, a lot of life had to make it more difficult to find an individual one. Or so Han presumed. One the other hand, he knew Leia and Luke could sense each other whole star systems apart so maybe that didn't make all that much of a difference.

At any rate, Han stays behind, opting to use the communications systems on board the Falcon to try to get a hold of the brilliant illusionist and con artist he hadn't heard from in almost a lifetime.

[forcefullyunstable]

Well, if Han was going to sell his son out to the Resistance, he likely would have done it already. Consider it a sign of trust - tenuous still, but forming.

Eventually, He left his father on board the Falcon and followed the Wookie into the cantina. As he went through the door, he kept the cowl around his face. There could be First Order spies anywhere. Or Resistance spies for that matter. He could only hope he didn't look as out of place as he felt.

There was no drop in the overall noise level, so at least there was that. He approached the bar.

The Supreme Leader and the First Order tended to frown on drunkenness, so he wasn't immediately sure what to order. He listened to what some of the other patrons were ordering and followed suit with a name that sounded good.

"Reactor core."

The bartender laughed, which drew attention from the rest of the nearby customers. "Oh, that's rich. A skinny whelp like you? Here's a mug of Osskorn Stout."

"That's not what I ordered!"

Chewbacca put a hand on Ben's shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

The bartender, meanwhile, glanced up at the Wookie. "You with the black string bean? Fine. You can carry his drunk ass out of here."

Ben finally got the drink he ordered, and downed it in three quick gulps, completely out of spite. In hindsight, that was not a good idea...

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Han, ultimately, doesn't get ahold of Xaverri. He hoped to, but he hadn't talked to the woman in more than a decade and only very sporadically at all since he'd met Leia. That was kinda how she preferred to operate anyway. Without attachments to anybody.

He could always try again a little later.

It ends up that he's only about ten minutes behind Chewbacca and Ben when he joins them in tavern they were killing time in. The place looks familiar ... but half the time he walks into one of these places he feels like it's only familiar because he's been in so many bars over the year that they've all started to feel like places he's been before. Like a strange kind of deja-vu.

He approached just in time to see Ben slam down whatever he was drinking spitefully, but not what it is that he was drinking.

"What's the point of pounding your drink like that, kid?"

[forcefullyunstable]

He hid a cough from what was probably some of the foulest swill this side of the galaxy.

"Proving a point!" He exclaimed despite the churning feeling of regret in his stomach. Apparently Ben couldn't go more than ten minutes without getting himself into some kind of trouble. The bartender rolled his eyes at Ben'a next insult.

"Yeah, you vomit on my bar, I personally throw your scrawny ass out the back door..." The man threatened, turning to Han. "Okay. What'll it be?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Did you just drink far more alcohol that you should have in too short a time, did you Ben? Just because someone insisted you shouldn't? There is some Solo in this kid after all.

For about a second, Han looks like he's trying to hold back a smile.

There are about half a dozen of Han's favorite options that he talks himself out of for one reason or another. Mainly, he can't any bottles of them behind the bartender and he can't think there's a huge stash of other liquors elsewhere.

"Darkoma." Han says finally. "No ice."

[forcefullyunstable]

Ben, meanwhile, had slumped back against Chewbacca. The cowl had fallen from his face enough to reveal a ridiculously drunken grin.

"What're you lookin' at?" He slurred at the bartender when he slid over Han's drink. "Told you. I'm good! Hey, that one sparkles!"

It didn't.

He tried to reach for Han's glass, but missed. He nearly fell over in the process. Chewbacca held him up, and grunted something about a Reactor Core. Followed by at least one 'like father, like son' joke in Shryiiwook.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Well, Reactor Cores do tend to hit pretty quickly, but he doesn't remember them working that quickly. Ben did chug it, though. His son might have a low tolerance. Or the bartender might be trying to teach a punk kid a lesson by mixing it stronger. Han wouldn't have been surprised either way.

At any rate, Captain Solo doesn't particularly like mixed drinks, but Reactor Cores happen to be pretty handy for their effects and he's forced down a couple of them in his day. Forced being the key word. He hates the way they taste.

Han scoffs at his partner. He's got half a mind to point out that Han's never gotten drunk off of one drink that his partner had to hold him up afterward, but he feels like that would just result in his son chugging another Reactor Core somehow. Instead, he says, "it doesn't sparkle, kid."

[forcefullyunstable]

Well, as a Jedi Padawan and as a Knight of Ren, intoxicants were frowned upon. Dull the mind, dull one's connection to the Force. So, Ben Solo didn't have much in the way of preparation for chugging an unusually strong and hallucinogenic mixed drink on an empty stomach.

Scary thought, though, he kind of liked the sudden rush it gave. The nausea he could do without, though.

"Use the Force!" He slurred, as if that explained the existence of the non-existent sparkle.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Drinking is frowned upon by plenty of people, Force Sensitives and not. Although perhaps a little more concerning to the ones who can bend and shape the energy created by life itself. As it is, Han kinda figured Ben's life experience didn't particularly expose him to a lot of nights (or even days) spent in bars.

He just ... didn't think he'd come out of the gate the way he did.

"That's not how the force works." He says, making a face disconcerted expression at his kid. He can say that with a reasonable amount of certainty, even though he can't actually use the force at all.

[forcefullyunstable]

Ben seemed to think about that for a moment. "You sure?"

He glanced at Han, and made an attempt to pull the glass out of his hand with his mind. Obviously, that didn't happen. But a couple of the bottles sitting on the bar shattered.

A couple people screamed, and Ben chuckled. "Awww, I was gonna get one of that next."

(There were good reasons, apparently, for Jedi to abstain from drinking too much.)

[twelve_not_fourteen]

Han raises an eyebrow at his son. And there's no mistaking that it is the eyebrow of a dad who is being judgemental right now. That display was not only unnecessary, but kind of the opposite of keeping a low profile.

They're lucky that a lot of people still think The Force and people who can use it are modern day myths.

"Pretty sure." He says before taking a sip from his glass.

[forcefullyunstable]

"What?" Ben just smiled. He was oblivious. "Come on. Let me have some of yours... mine's all gone."

Because mistakes one and two always led to mistake three.

The Wookie began to argue, but Ben just cut him off. "Shut up, fuzzball."

[twelve_not_fourteen]

If looks could kill.

His son can say all the shit he wants to about what a terrible father he is or that he's a lousy person and frankly, he even deserves (a portion of) that criticism. Chewie hasn't earned any guff, though. He's spent almost forty years looking after Han and his family over one move that he made when the Captain's conscience had the better of him.

"Hey!" Han says, mood darkened. "Don't tell Chewie to shut up."

[forcefullyunstable]

"I don't have to listen to this!" He slurred, standing up. Chewie had a hand on him, but Ben shoved it off. No, he couldn't walk in a straight line to save his life, but he damn sure wasn't going to stay here. And he was perfectly fine with pushing anyone who stepped in his way, or more accurately, anyone he stepped in the way of.

"Yeah, get out and stay out, kid." The bartender was already waving him off with a roll of the eyes.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

A sure fire way to get Han Solo mad is to say something bad about Chewbacca in front of him.

The older Solo was less mad about the fact that the combative talking seemed to come from out of nowhere and far more annoyed that the kid would have gotten away with it. That Chewie would have simply let it go.

A young kid shooting his mouth off after having a little too much to drink. Not as if Han hadn't been that kid once. Years and years ago.

Han thumbs the rim of the glass for a moment considering what to do now. It's a shame that he doesn't feel like he can leave Ben alone to cool off, but the truth is that he doesn't trust his son to control himself. The fresh carbon scoring on the Millenium Falcon's cargo hold was proof enough that the kid had a temper.

Han pat's his best friend on the shoulder wordlessly and leaves the bar to look for Ben.

[forcefullyunstable]

And Han probably shouldn't trust Ben to control himself. That would be foolish, given his volatile behavior.

It should come as little surprise, then, that Ben managed to get himself into a fight with someone in the back alley. It was impossible to know who said what, who looked at who wrong or who threw the first punch (probably Ben), but the two men were definitely going at it.

And unless someone put a stop to it, there was no telling when drunken Force use was going to come into play.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

The sound of the scuffle draws his attention.

If Ben has any Solo in him, Han has to figure that his son is involved in a fight outside of a cantina. He's not at all surprised when he gets a little closer and sees a tall human dressed all in black involved. The youngest Solo's swings are loopy and wild, like you'd expect from a person who had drank a little too much.

Han, not in the mood for any of this, withdraws his blaster. He hits the trigger that sets the weapon to stun and drops Ben's opponent with a well-placed bolt.

"You haven't really spent a lot of time trying to keep a low profile, have you?"

[forcefullyunstable]

And Ben, in turn, stumbled in confusion over the body as his next punch went absolutely nowhere. Landing flat on his ass, he looked up at Han with an expression that just screamed, 'Hey! I had this!'

But to the question, he just let out an odd laugh. "Nope."

If Luke had ever tried to teach that as a Jedi skill, it was long forgotten in the First Order. Kylo Ren's entire purpose was to be as visible a threat as possible. Sadly, that was something Ben still excelled at.

[twelve_not_fourteen]

To be fair, you can't blame the kid for not connecting a punch when the opponent was dropped during the wind-up. Han, rarely interested in keeping the emotions off of his face unless he was sitting at a sabacc table, doesn't appear all that persuaded by his son's look.

Captain Solo takes a few steps toward his son and offers him a hand. He probably could stand on his own, but no sense in trying to find out that he might be wrong.

"That's something you probably should work on then, since most of the galaxy ain't all that fond of you."

[forcefullyunstable]

"Yeah yeah..." He did take the hand, though he missed reaching for it the first time. He'd definitely had more than enough to drink. (Han was really going to have to help his son build up a tolerance for the stuff, or never let him touch it again. One of the two.)

He stumbled to his feet, and tried to at least put what could barely pass for a scarf around his face again. It kept falling just as much as he kept dropping it.

"So, you have that hook up, or whatever you were doing?"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

"No."

Han says, a frown that he doesn't bother to hide spreads upon his face at the mention. It was optimistic to think that he'd be able to get a hold of Xaverri, truthfully. He hadn't heard from her in ... quite a long time. She could be dead for all he knows.

But sometimes you need to take those shots in the dark, because they were better than no shot at all.

"Listen, you should maybe lay down." He says knowing that his kid likely isn't going to want to take that advice. "In the morning we can figure out what kind of identity forging we can get done for you."

[forcefullyunstable]

Unfortunately, Ben Solo had a lot of sobering up to do, in more ways than one. He reached for one of Han's outstretched hands (a non-existent one first), but eventually managed to grab it without swatting it away.

"Might as well..." he slurred about the second comment, definitely not the first. "Not like I ever figured out the first two."

Identities. Ben Solo? Kylo Ren? Was he either of them now, really and truly?

"Another round of that and I might not even remember the Force!"

[twelve_not_fourteen]

It made sense for his son to change his name. Perhaps even his face depending upon how many people in the first order knew what he looked like. There were reconstructive surgeries, erasing scars, creating new ones, replacement parts ... all kinds of things that people can do in the name of trying to disappear in the underworld. The only limiting factor is money.

But it was going to hurt to know that his son probably wasn't going to be able to go by Solo anymore. There wasn't a lot of things he had given to his kid, but the name was ... perhaps the most valuable and significant thing that he ever could.

He reminds himself, though, that he hasn't really been Ben Solo for years.

"You'd be surprised how well you can get along without the Force." He says. "Was that your first drink ever?"